Riot and Frolic

You might have figured out that I am a lazy chef.  I like food and I like cooking, but I'm a big fan of "recipes" that use less than five ingredients or five steps.  I like being able to memorize a recipe and then improvise as I see fit.  

It's even better when I can find a recipe that sounds really impressive, besides fulfilling all the above characteristics.  I got one for you: roast chicken. Wha?….

How to Roast a Chicken

Ingredients:

– a chicken

– couple tablespoons of olive oil

– teaspoon or so of salt

– pepper to taste

– lemon, zested

– any other spices you like

Get a whole chicken from your grocery store.  It might be called a "roaster" or a "fryer," but it doesn't matter.  It just has to be a chicken.  I get mine in the frozen section from Aldi.  It's about $4.

Thaw the chicken completely.  I highly recommend this step.  The first time I tried to roast a chicken, I was a little impatient.  There was a lot of swearing and a lot more prep time.  

Unfrozen chickens are pretty loosey-goosey (ha).  They're cold, but squishy in their packaging. If your bird ain't thawed quite enough, throw it (still in the plastic wrap) in a sink full of COLD WATER.  Don't use warm or hot water; there's something about e.coli or something.  Let it sit in there for an hour or two, then test it for squishiness. No icy feeling?  Your chicken is ready for its big night.

 
Take that birdie out of its plastic housing and rinse it in cold water.  Pat it dry with some paper towels.  Combine the olive oil, salt, pepper, lemon zest and/or any other spices you dig in a small dish.  Now take a deep breath.  This part is messy; you're going to get intimate with that bird.

Lift up a piece of skin and stick your hand in, under the skin, as much as you can all over the chicken, so the skin gets loosened away from the meat.  

Now you'll take some oil-lemony goodness and spread it under the skin.  Get the breast and underside as covered as you can.  Sexy.  Or gross.  Whatever.

Once you've oiled up your chicken, throw it in a roasting pan, breast side up (see picture below for proper orientation), and shake some salt over the whole thing.  Put it in the oven.

I do 450 degrees for about an hour.  Use a meat thermometer to check the temperature after 45 minutes or so.  If you stick the thermometer in the thickest part of the drumstick, you want it to get to 180 degrees.

Take that delicious dish out of the oven.  Carve it.  (I would post my pictures, but they weren't pretty.  I just try to get as much meat as possible off that thing and it looks like a massacre.) Eat it.  Love life.  

That roasting pan you have left over with all the juicy tidbits?  Throw your chicken carcass in it (put some tin foil over it, throw in the fridge) and save it for tomorrow.  'Cause we're making chicken broth!

*I must apologize for the photos.  Raw chicken is not the most photogenic subject AND the lighting in my kitchen midday is AWFUL.  But this should make up for it.