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This episode is based on the post from April 27, 2021.
If you'd like to catch up on the Social Etiquette series, check this out.
If you'd like to ask me a specific question or add to the "terrific vs. terrible social dance stories" post, email me at riotandfrolic@gmail.com.
Here's a hot guy for me... er, you:
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Whether you're new to the social dance scene, or you're a little rusty, or MAYBE YOU JUST NEED A REMINDER, here we go:
Before You Go
Hygiene
Steer clear of the onions, garlic, and spicy, delicious sausages for the 12 hour period before you hit the dance scene, hit the shower, wear some trustworthy deodorant and clean clothes, bring a towel or change of shirts if you're the "glowy" type, and regardless of your meals that day, pop a mint in your mouth.
[And guess what? I've already written a post about hygiene.]
When You Get There
Ask someone to dance
You didn't go to a dance to not dance, so gather your gumption and walk up to a potential dance parter,
LOOK THEM IN THE EYE
SMILE
and say,
"Would you like to dance?"
Bold. I know.
10 extra points if you offer your hand [men, palm up; ladies, palm down; yes, it's all very Bridgerton.]
NO POINTS ARE AWARDED WITHOUT EYE CONTACT, SMILING, AND WORDS FIRST.
Start the Dance
There's no "prom dancing" at ballroom events. Or "Y dancing" for you Fred Astaire peeps. [Do they still do that? With the "Y dance when you can RUMBA?!" joke? IT IS SUCH A GOOD ONE.]
ANYHOW, once you have a partner, no matter who asked who, the gentleman escorts the lady to his favorite spot on the dance floor and does his best impression of regular ol' dance frame. It doesn't have to be amazing, but it does have to exist. (If you're sketchy on what constitutes "dance frame", please get thee to a professional.) Leads, you should swiftly offer your left hand to the follow to make it clear that you're going to start the dance. If you're doing a nightclub dance (Swing, Salsa, West Coast Swing, the like), feel free to offer two hand hold.
Generally at social dances, you can leave any thoughts of practicing your topline and phenomenal connection the door. Or even outside the door. MOST people go to social dances to [gasp] socialize with their dancing friends and acquaintances through shared movement to music, not to practice their shaping.
Dropping your elbows (and giving your partner subtle A-OK signs) is usually acceptable, especially on a crowded dance floor, as seen below.
Follow Line of Dance
Again, if you're sketchy on this term, call your local professional, but "follow the crowd" is a pretty good interpretation.
Traveling dances always move counter-clockwise around the ballroom. Strangely, the "fast lane" is on the outside of the floor, so if you're less than confident in your moving steps, stick to the corners, or shoot into the middle of the floor. (The same applies when you'd like to do Swing during a Quickstep or Foxtrot aaaand good luck if you're trying vice versa.)
Spot dances stay on a ... spot ... so choose a nice one. Slot dances are usually danced parallel to the long side of the room.
[Again, I have a pre-existing post on floorcraft, aka going line of dance.]
Dance the Entire Song
Unless you're square dancing, you should plan to spend the ENTIRE TWO MINUTES dancing with your chosen partner.
Ballroom social dances might play their songs up to three minutes, but that's pretty Crazytown. 1:30 is usual and 2:00 is generally the longest.
You can do it. Wait for that fade out or the MC to signal the song is over.
(If you're dancing to a live band, all bets are off and I try to take the floor about halfway into a song so I don't die, but that's just me. [Thank you, Jazz Band, for teaching me when "halfway" through a song is.])
[This post is related to social dancing, as well.]
Do the Dance
MEN, start with the basic, then add on a few foundation steps until you get a feel for your partner. The point of a social dancing is to enjoyably share movement to a song, not to make her feel bad for not following your obscure lead of a pattern you kind of know.
LADIES, do your best. Go along with their timing (even if it doesn't exist) and see if you can add joy to the shared movement.
Laugh and smile if a mistake happens because you are DANCING.
DANCING IS FUN.
DAMMIT.
Finish the Dance
When the dance is over, reverse the order of how you got on the floor:
ESCORT YOUR PARTNER OFF THE FLOOR.
Say, "Thank you for the dance."
SMILE.
MAKE EYE CONTACT.
10 extra points for a rollout at the end of the dance, but that is super extra and must be practiced a lot beforehand.
NO POINTS WILL BE AWARDED WITHOUT EYE CONTACT, SMILING, AND WORDS.
After the Dance
You did it! You went dancing and left a good impression on your partners and set a great example for other dancers.
Now, go do it again.
Disclaimers disclaimers disclaimers: I'm no Emily Post, but I do hear an earload from dancers when people get this stuff wrong. Some of it is implicit (hopefully now explicit) and some of it is old-fashioned, but most of it is showing respect and courtesy to others. Also, I generally use "gentlemen" for leads and "ladies" for follows, so deal with it.
You better believe "What NOT to Do" is coming next.
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This episode is based on the ancient blog post from July 20, 2012.
Feel free to use the internet to look up "social dance etiquette"... or look here on Saturday.
And when I said "us" in this episode, I meant "you".
LOVE YOU.
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