just adverb
\ ˈjəst \
Synonyms: merely, simply, only
I’ve often heard this comment from leads when they’re about to attempt something that is not fully formed in their repertoire and/or are asking a follow to dance that admits not knowing the dance. But I’ve also heard it from follows who claim they’ll “just follow” a dance or dancing in general.
I have many problems with this comment. Seven to be exact.
First of all, *I* don’t “just” do *anything*. I do things with *panache*. [insert hair flip]
Secondly, regardless of my personal lifestyle choices, this comment assumes that following is not an educated, active part of the ballroom dance partnership.
And that’s where we shall start (be it at #3):
3. If I’m being asked to “just follow,” that lead had better be “just leading.” In other words, the lead should be giving me a clear signal of what timing we’re doing (in the frame of the dance’s appropriate timings, ON THE BEAT OF THE MUSIC), using consistent tone through their frames and centers to guide me in the direction of movement, and NOT DOING WEIRD SHIT.
I have often been told to “just follow” while none of the aspects of leading were being adhered to. So no, I will not “just follow” a bad lead. I will stay on time and cover for you so we both look cool, and try to have fun doing it.
4. If this is a practice situation and a lead asks me *politely* to “just follow,” HUZZAH. I accept this challenge and will go (or stop) wherever and whenever you want me to, regardless of momentum and comfort. There should then ensue a pleasant exchange of words suggesting what was felt when, how that affected the movement not being ideal, and many repetitions of that pattern with minor (to major) improvements being implemented.
5. After more than a few years honing my craft (I’ll use my favorite line: LONGER THAN MOST OF YOU HAVE BEEN ALIVE), I have a pretty good sense of a) possible precedes and follows for every step ever b) the physics of dancing c) my own posture and frame.
Since leads are in charge of timing and direction, when my momentum from a previous step hasn’t been redirected in a timely manner, I enjoy continuing in the direction of my momentum into a logical following step to preserve my physical comfort (redirecting late often puts the brunt of force/torque onto the follow’s joints) and fluidity of the dance.
But in a weird twist on “just follow,” I am sometimes told “you’re backleading,” to which I say, “Nah, I’m just doing my job.”
6. When follows say this comment in an off-hand manner (usually in the context of a lead asking “Do you know how to dance?” and the follow saying, “I just follow”), it makes me sad. First of all, it’s putting ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY for timing, movement, patterns, floorcraft, and FUN upon the lead.
As follows, we have to know the basic pattern and timing of a dance and have some sense of connection and tone through our bodies to be a fully engaged partner. If follows don’t know that, it is totally cool to own it [ask me about my first time country dancing], but assuming a lead can make a dance enjoyable with little to no help from the follow is a huge expectation that should be reserved for very, very strong (muscularly) dancers with years and years…and years of experience.
7. Leads aren’t born, they are raised. I have heard from many a delightful man that they were in a casual setting (bar, wedding, non-ballroom-dance-event) and were “dancing” and the lady got mad because he “wasn’t leading.” But most dancers won’t expect non-male leads to “just lead” like it’s an ingrained trait.
Now, if ladies get to claim men should “just lead” (or that they should have an instinct for leading, regardless of dance training, musical ability, or time spent vertical in very close proximity to a lady), then we can expect a mess of men to never want to dance because their confidence was shattered by a passing comment at that one wedding 10 years ago. And trust me, that group of men exists. And is not small.
So maybe leads DO have the right to say “just follow” since partner dancing is SO ingrained in our culture. [side eye, side eye, side eye… side eye]
For both parties, leads and follows, let’s give each other some slack and realize everyone is learning how to do their parts better. Instead of putting the responsibility on one’s partner, take the reins by asking a person to dance politely, then shutting up and trying to make each dance as enjoyable as possible for yourself AND your partner.
This originally was published in Sheer Dance, but I refer to it so often, it needed a second home here.
