Riot and Frolic

So You Want to be a Pro : Expectations

It's been a minute since I had a take on this, but I've been making this list since being a pretty hard-core amateur, part of a few amateur partnerships, a long-time teacher, and now a studio owner.  That means I have a WHOLE LOT OF OPINIONS on this subject.  Even more than usual.  But don't worry, there's a similar post for students coming soon.  

1. Be on time

    Hahahahahahahahaha...  GET IT?!

    Because I want my teacher to be on time for my lesson, but because it's also their job to dance in rhythm with the music? 

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    Awesome.

2. Be professional in the studio and around your students.

    This goes without saying... Or does it?  Honestly, search Google and you'll come up with excellent attributes of a "professional," but here are some about which I feel especially strong.  (I had some very good points about it over at Dance Comp Review as far as how to behave at competitions.)  

• Sex, religion, and politics.  Don't.  Dance is an escape from "the real world" and getting involved in conversations with students along these topics might make a great connection, but it also bears the same likelihood of separating teachers from students who don't share the same opinion. Like the famous quote from apolitical Michael Jordan (after being asked to support a highly publicized Democrat race and turning it down), "Even Republicans buy shoes." Be like Mike.
• Set boundaries.  As much as professional instructors are a friendly ear and safe person to be around, teachers are there FOR THEIR STUDENTS.  Instructors should not be unloading their problems and life situations on their students, even when vice versa might be true.  Professionals need to learn how to steer conversations away from weird, personal, or polarizing topics BACK TO DANCING.  Which would be  pretty easy to do, if everyone kept dancing. 
• Dress professionally.  Yoga pants are practice wear.  Ballroom gowns and suits are competition wear.  Somewhere in between those two extremes are what pros should wear.  Guys are safe with black dance pants (WHICH OH MY GOSH ARE SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN LADIES' DANCE-PANTS, BUT LET'S CONTINUE) and nice shirts (let's start with clean, then add on well-fitted, while button-down is unnecessary, it could be totally your style).  Ladies, we have a lot more wiggle room, which is either frustrating or liberating.  But dress pants with stretch and tops you feel comfortable in are great (personal favorite are ones with sleeves, because I don't want my sweaty armpits on my partners' arms) and ones with decent back coverage, because I don't want my partners' sweaty hands on my bare back).  Groom your face and hair so it doesn't look like you just rolled out of bed to get there.  

3. Know Your Shit

    There's a stage when you're in the beginning of your teaching when you can plan your learning-how-to-teach curve by, "Oh crap, I need to know more than my student."  But pretty quickly, you need to know a lot more than that.

    And it's a lot more than "I know how to do this step" (because all the celebs on DWTS "know how to do that step").  I need you to be able to TEACH it.  

    Pros should have a bajillion different ways to make/say/demonstrate/manipulate basic steps, and all following figures, to make them simple.  And at least one way for the people in the back.  Have exercises to break it up into little tiny pieces.  Have 3 different awful sports/life metaphors for it.  Have some bad pun about it, so people remember it.

    [Note: just because you know "the book" doesn't mean you can dance OR teach.*]

    While there are many good dancers out there, being a good teacher is a different skill-set.  Professionals should refine BOTH of these skills to excel. 

4. Make it fun

    Dancing is not always fun.  There are techniques to learn, plateaus to conquer, insecurities to overcome. EVEN SO, teachers can put students' favorite practice track on repeat, make some jokes or reminisce about when they first learned The Whatever, and by god, keep dancing.

5. Know how to hold a conversation

    The art of small talk should not be overlooked.  Whether in a social setting at a dance or just starting out a private lesson, a little "How was your day?" from a pro goes a long way to building rapport with students and other dancers and pros.  AND WE'RE ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY, DAMMIT!

6. Perform well and easy

    On the chance that a teacher gets the opportunity to get paid to dance with their student at an event, it's not about the teacher on pro-am day.  Make it fun and STUDENT-FOCUSED.  Don't answer your phone on the comp floor or walk away from them in the middle of a heat WHICH ARE TRUE EXAMPLES not to follow. Make sure the student(s) are prepared.  Warm-up or hang out with the students as needed (30 minutes to an hour before they dance, stick around for awards, have meals together are all pretty standard practices).  Again, keep in mind the "being professional" and "know your shiz" rules.  

7. Teach all the things 

    ...without saying, "Here's how to ask someone to dance", students can be taught how to ask someone to dance, say no to someone asking you to dance, be welcoming to new dancers, end a dance, start a dance, apologize for a mistake during a dance (mostly stepping on someone or knocking them in the face), dip a follow in a non-scary way, be dipped, get awards at a competitions, accept a scholarship during a competition, what all the crazy competition language means, and MORE.  Students learn the most from the example their teachers set.  BE A GOOD EXAMPLE.

*The Book(s) that people are referring to are the Latin and Standard manuals published by the Imperial Society of Teachers of Dancing (ISTD).

Sabotage!

I am typing in rhythm to this song, obviously:

Not progressing as quickly as you'd like?  Seeing other dancers who started when you did zoom into higher levels? 

First of all, THAT'S OKAY.  Stop comparing yourself to others.  Dance is a journey, yo. 

Second of all, if you're unsettled by your lack of progress or you have chosen to embrace your competitive nature around the dance floor, THAT'S OKAY, TOO.  I can help with that.

To ensure decent progress, make sure you're not doing any of the... 

Common Traps That Sabotage Your Dance Progress

Not Having a Goal

    Whether it's to make it through the first ten minutes of your studio's social dance or to win a national title, if you don't have a goal written down of what you'd like to accomplish when and why, your crystal ball ain't so crystal clear.  

    Think of things you would like to see yourself doing and write that shiz down.  Need more help?  Of course, I have a post for that: Measuring the Immeasurables.

Expecting Lessons Alone to Make You Great

    While it'd be great to become a fantastic dancer by watching YouTube videos, I think you know that you need to take actual, physical lessons to learn how to dance.  Group classes are a great start, but private lessons are where it's at.  And yet, if you think going to your lessons (even if it's every day) are going to help you become Riccardo and/or Yulia, it's not.  Even if it's five minutes a day, practice outside of the studio is essential to cementing techniques and actions into your primary motor cortex (in layman's terms, your muscle memory).  

    I like to tell students to practice simple exercises while they brush their teeth, or make their coffee, 'cause you CAN stand rockin' when you're in this place.  Any short, passive breaks throughout the day can be used to do helpful exercises that will greatly increase your progress. (Yes, this post will be coming soon as well, but ask your instructor!  We have so many!)

Avoiding Practice

    It's the same, but different as the preceding reason.  If you know you need to practice and kind of sort of halfway do it, you're scheming on a thing, that's a mirage. 

    I've witnessed more than a few dancers go to "practice" and end up a) watching videos of other dancers b) talking to other dancers c) watching other dancers d) starting a few exercises and then doing a,b, and c again.  

    Solo practice, especially, isn't the most spectacular (or inconspicuous-feeling) activity, but the pay-off is often worth the discomfort.  Besides the myriads of posts I have on the subject (When Practice Goes Bad, It's Called Practice for a Reason, The Myth of Practicing More), The Girl With The Tree Tattoo has a sweet PDF on how to practice (look for the "do you solo practice?" header) you could print out backwards and plaster on your forehead so it's always handy when you're in front of a mirror. 

    Because if you're not practicing, listen y'all all, it's a sabotage.

Practicing Fast

    Not fast as in "I have somewhere to go and have to bang out this session", but like "I can only do this at one speed and that's BALLS TO THE WALL". 

    If you can't do it slowly, it's doubtful you are really in control of the thing you're doing.  

    Sez one of my brilliant students: don't practice fast until it's easy, practice easy until it's fast.  SO GOOD.

    So make no mistakes and switch up your channel; try all different tempos for your practice sesh.  But especially slowly!

Not Doing Things That Feel Ridiculous

    There's a certain point in ballroom dancing where it's no longer as the beginning teacher advertised.  It is no longer "just walking".  DAMN IT. 

    Instructors will tell you to do things that feel stupid, unnatural, and unnecessary. But what YOU see, you might not get.  THESE NEW THINGS ARE AWESOME, PHYSICALLY SOUND, AND NECESSARY.  We will talk about your hip flexors and your ankles and your wrists and your fingers and sometimes you'll have to get over yourself and do stuff that feels silly and practice very specific directions on "how to hold hamburger" and you'll discover new ways your various joints can move without breaking anything.  

Bailing Out

    This seems to be a strictly female trait.  Females will throw up their hands mid-move, swerving out of frame, and exclaim some fundamental law of dance has been wronged.  Am/am, pro/am, and pro/pro ladies all do it.  STOP IT.  

    The poor leaders of the dance world are doing their best to lead patterns and choreography TO FRUITION and we're all, "But, yo, I'm out and I'm gone."  

    Ladies, we gotta stick around through a little vexation and do our best to be imperturbable.  Those leads have to have someone to lead if they are going to learn to... wait for it... lead.  And believe it of not, they DON'T do the same thing to us (mostly, because I'm always telling the leads it's their fault, but STILL).

    I'm telling y'all, it's SABOTAGE.

 

 

 

How to be a Good Dance Partner

Notice I didn't say "How to be the Best Dance Partner" or even "How to be a Great Dance Partner" because DAMN, SON, there are a lot of ways to screw this up and I will settle for "good" IN JUST THIS ONE AREA of dancing.

Don’t date

Yes, I'm putting this first.

It's easy to confuse your love for this cool hobby and the good times you’re having while dancing, with a love for the attractive person [fact: all dancers are attractive] in your arms.  STOP IT.   Because once you figure out that all those endorphins and happy hormones were from the physical act of dancing and not from making out after practice, you might ruin dancing and its large social pool for yourself AND your former partner. 

Of course I already wrote an article about not dating your dance partner, so just go read it while you're at it.

Show up

Agree on practice times, confirm if you must, and show up ready to do SOMETHING. It’s never easy to begin.  But get your tush on the floor and start moving.  

Have a good warm up or silly shenanigans to kick off practice on a fun and easy note.  When I first started dancing, my partner and I stretched out quietly together; my next partner and I would shoot the shit while putting on our shoes and then do a Hustle to get started; #3 and I would bang out rounds from the get-go, and then dig into technique.  These days, G and I have an excellent partnering exercise with which to begin practice and to get out of our teacher/parent/business owner heads.  

It'd be great if you had mutual goals written out, so your practice time would be easily planned. "We need to know three moves in these three dances and be able to dance with music by this date" is an excellent starter.  "We want to be able to count our Open choreography with the appropriate syncopations from beginning to end in a month" would be a good one for an advanced dancer.  

If you're having a hard time structuring practice or making goals together, private lessons ARE available with amazing professionals who do exactly that FOR A LIVING.

Be cool

Dancing might be the only thing you feel good at/about or is progressing at a rate you find acceptable or that you can control at the moment but CHILL OUT. Be respectful and understanding of your partner's JOBS, and SLEEP, and FAMILY, and FRIENDS, and OTHER THINGS.  You had agreed to certain practice times, but sometimes they have to change.  IT'S OKAY.  There are plenty of awesome ways to practice on your own when your need/desire/obsession to hit the floor outweighs your partner's need for a bill-paying job.  

Shut up

There's so many times where it'd be easier to say to your partner, "You're not doing so-and-so" or "You're knocking me over here" or "Stop kicking me" or whatever than carefully examining your role in the partnership and realizing your partner can't do so-and-so because you're in the way, or you're actually knocking yourself over, or you were supposed to be in side by side position and not in shadow.  

It's also exceedingly difficult not to bring these kind of things up in lessons.  DON'T DO IT.  I promise your coach will be able to see Things That Are Happening.  Coach might not always bring up those exact issues that are driving you crazy because often there are bigger fish to fry, but ye olde coach sees it.  Sometime in the near future, that issue will be addressed by dear Coach and you can go "brush your shoes" on the side of the ballroom to hide your smug smile and whisper "I told you so".

Shut your mouth. Focus on yourself. 

Just keep dancing

Some dance partnerships don't work out for BIG TIME REASONS (imagine anything you would say "ew" to), but often, one or both partners get uncomfortable for small time reasons (mismatched proficiency, lack of funds, the difficulty of growth and progress in dancing, time commitment, unsatisfactory competitions results, stagnation, new romantic partner/life change, etc.) that seem too much to handle.  

If you're REALLY REALLY REALLY honestly not going to dance anymore, cool.  Be done. 

But if you stop practicing together, now you are no longer dancing.  And when you're no longer dancing, it's quite difficult to improve. 

Sure, you might end a partnership with the idea of finding a new partner, but changing partners usually does not solve those small time problems that you had with that good partner.  (Plus, there's the whole rigamarole of finding that new partner.)

Instead of ending a partnership, set new goals.  Chip away at those goals.  Figure out a new schedule.  Work with different coaches.  Dance with a different group of dancers.  See how it feels in three months.  Six months.  A year.  

And do like Dory. 

Work, but not too much

Of course, we should all show up to each practice with a yearning to increase the technical, artistic, and musical aspects of our dancing with the focus of a laser beam and a fierce commitment to our partnership.  But we should also go out for a beer.  Or pizza. We should know more about our dance partner than their favorite dance, least favorite dance, and the birthdate for competition entry forms.  Not that every partnership has to be BFFs, but being able to hold down a conversation with that person who holds up their frame opposite you is definitely a check in the "good" column.