As much as I think one should know what they're getting into with the whole motherhood thing, I feel like I've been a poo-poo-er of rearing children. But it's a sweet gig, I swear.
- You get to play with your old toys. Or just pick out the really cool new toys. My Little Pony? TOTALLY BACK IN STYLE. The new cartoon is hilarious and lovely: anime without being too blinky, cute without being stupid. Building blocks? NERDY FUN. Coloring crayons? THERAPY.
- Silence is golden. Never will you underestimate the value of being able to hear your dining room clock, from your upstairs bedroom again. What is that ringing in your ears? Silence. It's amazing. REVEL IN IT.
- You travel with an entourage. Granted most people who merit an entourage have their hangers-on schlepp their stuff. But you're so important, it's the other way around.
- You will never feel so important or loved. Especially when you're leaving your children somewhere or picking them up from somewhere or when there's a boo boo that needs kissing or band-aiding.
- Loneliness is gone. As long as your little ones are around, you have a captive audience of weirdos to keep you company.
- Clothes shopping takes on new meaning. Little girls' clothing? ADORABLE. It is very hard to pass up Target's kid section without cooing over how cute Mae Cake would look in this hat.
- Your multi-tasking skills will skyrocket. One friend told me about how she used to make macaroni and cheese for her toddlers while nursing her youngest. That's just... supernatural.
- You have a personal stylist, or two. "Mama, those earrings look soooo beautiful." "Mama, aren't you going to do something with your hair?" "Mama, you have something on your butt."
- Chores become a thing of the past. My oldest is the self-proclaimed Queen of the Toilet Paper: she changes the roll when it's empty, fills up our toilet paper tower (that holds 3 rolls), and carries the huge economy pack into the attic (where we store bulk goods) without being asked. She also likes to make toasted peanut butter sandwiches and my coffee in the morning.
- You get to eat all your favorite comfort foods. Cup of soup! Chicken in the Biscuit crackers! Mac 'n' Cheese! Buttered noodles! Sugary cereal! Fruit snacks! Goldfish crackers!
Sign me UP!
One year ago: Discovery: Brewer's Yeast
