Riot and Frolic

a mostly ballroom dance, but also a bunch of other stuff, blog

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I own and rock people’s faces off teaching ballroom dancing at Dancers Studio in St. Paul, MN. My husband and I compete professionally in American style and wrangle eight children in our spare time. I’ve been teaching and competing in ballroom dancing for over 25 years and have lots of opinions on it. I am an expert by any means, but there are quite a few dancers who are better than me and I have a solid knowledge of basic technique, so suck it.

Jobs I’d Be Bad At #1 and #2

The G and I have been watching the Australian Open this week. For those of you who don't know,  that's a tennis tournament in the land of criminals.

I don't really get tennis.  The ball goes back and forth and it's EXCITING.  Or so I've been told.  Like most sports, I can "watch" a game/match/shindig with the best of them, but I only get interested in the final minutes.  

In those final minutes, people/teams/playas either get desparate or good.  Either way, then it's fun to watch.  A good football game should really only last ten minutes, really. 

Anyhoo, the reason I get involved in watching tennis is not because of the actual volley/serve/ point business, but because of all the extraneous people around the court. 

There's all these ballboys (or girls or people or whatever) and line judges and those are jobs I could not do.

couldn't do it- ball girl
Ballgirl.  Here's what goes through my mind when I see myself in their job:

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygodGOT IT! oh crap! I dropped it!  everyone just saw me drop that ball now I have to go get it and OH! I kicked it! sorrysorrysorry…  got it…  we're cool…

I feel like everyone is watching me is everyone watching me?  does my butt look big in these dumb shorts?  could they have chosen an uglier color for these uniforms?  oh crap.  I should be watching the game.  

you? me? you? me?  you?  you.  you.  you.  you get it…  oh, I got it.  

do you want a ball? or your towel? ball? towel? water? towel?  okay, here.  Oh, crap, I dropped it… sorrysorrysorry…  water? now? yeah? oh crap, I spilled water on your white shorts! oh, and now you're throwing me your towel and… oh crap, I dropped it.  sorrysorrysorry…

Mostly, I'd worry about my hand-eye coordination, which is surprisingly bad.  

at least they get sweet blazers

G says I'd probably like being a line judge.  They get to yell "HOEP!" when the ball is out.  

HOE… errrrr… p?  i don't know…

HOEP!  oh, not now?  okay.

HOEP!… wait, am I supposed to yell when it's "out" or "in"?

HOEP! [player challenges my HOEPing]  What?  WHAT?  Of COURSE I saw it correctly! [getting in playa's face and waving my finger]  You're not even neeeear the line and I'm staring right at it.

Yeah, nothing I'd be good at.  

roger federer
We would probably get in a fight.

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