This year, I hosted Thanksgiving, and much to my ma's surprise, I can cook okay.
I give her a pass on her amount of amazement since I haven't been known to follow directions or have the greatest common sense in the past. Note: years ago, I thought I could get to Duluth by heading west from St. Paul. It wasn't until I was past St. Cloud that I thought something might be amiss.
Ah, youth.
Anyhoo, Turkey Day...
I got all my recipes from the interwebs, because other than the Joy of Cooking, that's how I roll. (Now I just found the JOC website. What?!)
From the Delicious Dish, errr, Splendid Table website, I found my turkey recipe. Um, hello, pureed bacon.
I really wanted to try this "40 cloves of garlic" business for the bird since I'd been seeing a similar recipe for chicken all over the Pinterest and how it made the best chicken and it was so tender. And a turkey is just a big chicken, right?
No.
You have to pull the neck out of a turkey.
Oh Lord.
Really. I need a minute, just...
Ew.
And yet... Strangely satisfying.
Okay.
The turkey was awesome. Here it is all rubbed down with goodness the night before its big day.
See that bag of garlic cloves it's chillin' with? Pain in the arse. Thankfully, America was around to help whack the heads of garlic with a "sturdy saucepan" to loosen the skins (then hunt down the rogue cloves that shot across the kitchen) and peel all those bad boys. Oy.
Sweet potaters got this treatment, but with a whole stick of butter. Because, come on, they're sweet potatoes.
I used the classic Campbell's recipe for green bean casserole because that's what you do. Except I used sour cream instead of milk and added crumbled bacon on top. Because that's what I do.
Then, the damn pie.
I make chocolate pecan pie and I love it and it's easy and everyone else loves it even if they don't think they will (because nuts in your dessert is generally lame, but not lame in this case). I used the recipe from the Ye Olde Joy of Cooking.
It took my four tries to get an edible pie.
1. You are supposed to "warm the crust" in the oven before filling it. I rather felt like "burning the crust" before filling it. Good thing I had extra crusts.
2. You are supposed to bake the pie in an oven at 375 degrees. I had mine at 450 degrees. Result: burnt top layer, gooey (in a bad way) inside. Apparently, pecan pie is a "custard" that is "heat-sensitive," which I read after burning it.
3. As the G was reminding me to melt the chocolate slowly, I was turning it into little crusty chunks. Seriously. Simultaneously.
4. Crust warmed, oven at correct temp, chocolate creamy, pie finished.
My folks brought over the mashed potatoes (which were awesome), ice cream for the pie, and canned cranberry sauce (because the real kind is frowned upon in these parts). My grandma brought her wicked gravy-making skills and proceeded to make some wicked gravy.
Dinner complete. Completely eaten. I felt like we should have leftovers for two weeks, but they are basically gone. We are pigs.
How was your Thanksgiving? Did you host it? Run a 5k? Get amazing food for free at your relatives'? Get crappy food at your relatives? Dish, people!
